Frighteningly Disappointing: The 13th Floor Haunted House Review

By: Madelynn Loring, Staff Writer

According to USA Today, the 13th Floor Haunted House in Denver is one of the 5 best haunted houses in the country. However, nowadays, the 13th Floor seems to be blown out of proportion by its reputation and hampered by it. Even on a Monday night, groups spend only a fifth of the time inside the attraction as they do waiting in line, and parking costs just as much as an extra ticket as the streets were lined with parked cars for three blocks in every direction. That being said, should you go to this event, be sure to arrive on time or even early to your scheduled ticket time to save yourself the one to two hours spent in line. Also, be sure to have $20 cash for parking and a good deal of patience to work through the crowds, traffic, and remarkably condescending and aggressive lot attendants. 

These setbacks are simply the reality of popular events, however the 13th Floor, at least as it is now, is not worthy of the hype it has received. Tickets, even on their slowest nights, are oversold, and, in an attempt to keep the massive line moving and maximize profits, groups are funneled in one after another and, as a result, the element of surprise required in any thrilling and successful haunted house is lost. You are forced by the staff to enter on the heels of the group in front of you. Thus, the jump scares and shocks are lost as the actors struggle to time their appearances between groups.

Regardless, the ambiance and costuming of the 13th Floor Haunted House is impressive. It’s loud, overstimulating, and visually inordinate: everything you could ask from a haunted house experience. The use of lighting, staging, and other technical elements is phenomenal and, if not for the rushed and crowded audience, would be completely and totally immersive. 

I did have fun at the 13th Floor, but the people with whom you spend your haunted house experience have a much greater impact on your enjoyment than the attractions itself. Despite the 13th Floor’s raving reviews, it may be a better use of your time and money to go somewhere less eminent to get an entirely immersive and honestly thrilling experience.