By: Armando Covarrubias, Cartoonist, Writer
Out of all of the greatest weapons, mankind has ever concocted, the greatest weapon comes from humanity’s biology, specifically his voice. The human word can do so much, bring peace to nations, and create discord and war. As a humble messenger to the dark gods, I know far too well about the power of charisma, how it can be used and twisted for one's self-benefit. For my fight is not on the battlefield, but at the seat of the senate, or that is what I hope will happen. I have been going through this campaign for almost a year, and have developed a large number of supporters. And as I am still currently traveling from village to town, I plant my seeds of chaos in each successful campaign speech I make. For when I am victorious I shall reap the rewards, for my gods.
I am currently preparing myself for my next speech. I wear my finest robes and my most regal armor. Now I will put my charisma into practice. Once the seeds of doubt and discord are planted I shall wait till the harvest. For this war will not be one by guns, or swords, or fists, or magic from the heavenly fools or the sacredly damned. It will be a war won by truth and charisma. Now let us put this into practice.
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I witness the crowd from behind the curtain chattering up a storm. To which I walked out from the curtains and towards the podium. Upon seeing me everyone cheered and applauded in glee. These people are my supporters, at least that is what they thought, but they are just pawns in my game. “Welcome.” I said, “Welcome, children of the Heavenly Father. Sons of God.” Upon saying those words the crowd goes wild.
I continue, “I have come to witness your plight, and upon my visit, if I become elected I shall restore this country to its former glory. As our forefather would’ve wanted.” As my supporters cheered I thought to myself how foolish these commoners are. I am not lying, for our forefathers would have wanted this country of ours to thrive. I am just speaking out what the masses want me to say. I speak again, “I have heard of your plights, your cries, your lamentations that could even be heard across the globe. And why would such fine townsfolk such as all of you have to suffer?”
The townsfolk began to shout saying things such as, “We are low on food rations,” “The inquisition took my son,” “The water is not fit to drink, ”and more things such as that. I then said, “To hear your plight with my ears fills me with sorrow and utter disappointment in the people who are supposedly supposed to be helping the common people.” I ask, “Tell me, worthy sons of God, who is the man who is supposed to be protecting you? Who is it that is supposed to lead you all like the son of man?” The masses then shouted that the bishop is to blame. In voices that sounded more akin to hungry wolves, they shouted “The bishop!” “Bishop Winchester,” “Winchester,” and so on.
I continued, “But who is this Bishop Winchester? Is he better than the common man because of his status as a holy man?” As I finished the sentence my supporters shouted no. I continued asking, “Is he a mere mortal, a man? Does he not breathe like a man, eat like a man, defecate and urinate like a man. The answer is yes, yet he puts himself in a marble manor that makes cathedrals look like barns.
“He gets to eat more meals in one day than you all eat in a week. He gets to drink the finest wines and juices the world has to offer, yet here you stand drinking the water that flows from his manor’s sewage system. Water so impure that even rats would puke at the mere taste of it. He wears the most lavished of robes, even the pontificate himself does not wear such beautiful garbs. He dons a massive and magnificent miter that its size can only be compared by this man's ego.” The crowd began to laugh at my quip. I continued, “He has the gall to live a life of luxury as he watches you suffer?
He sits in his manor where he indulges in gluttony and greed, while you all barely make enough money to survive. The only thing that he is good at besides sitting on his throne like a king, is to send out the inquisition. To take away your mothers, your fathers, your sisters, your brothers, your children. All because he does not like you. So to survive to have to put up with this fool. He is more fit to be a jester than a bishop” The crowd began to laugh again.
I thought to myself that I almost have their entire support, it is time to reap the fruits of my labor. I spoke again “So I say to you sons and daughter of the holy lord. Will you put up with this clown?” They shouted no. I asked, “Will you stand for this?” Again they shouted with a no. I then asked, “Will we let corruption seep through the pores of the church we call sanctuary?” Again they shouted no.
I then spoke and said, “It is because of idiots who run the church and by extant the towns they are meant to lead and protect its people like Shepard’s end up leaving their herd to starve. Which is why I plan to make sure that the church has no control over the senate and to disband the inquisition.” The crowd began cheering as a wave of joy. I continued, “And to prove that I am not a man pulling strings I would like to have a little chat with this Bishop Winchester myself.” The crowd began to cheer and shouted my name, Yehudah. Over and over they repeated my name. We began to march towards his manor.
My mission was a success, I have planted the seeds of discord upon the people against the holy sees. The townsfolk will pour onto the manor like a flood. The bishop's guardsmen are prepared against these types of riots, which is why I will be there. I will meet with the bishop, and I already have plans for what to do with this pile of silk and lard. This town is now mine. You do not see any weapons on my hand, only charisma, and a loud voice. This is how war starts.
And this is how wars will end.